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“If you were a horse…”


The Commander said this to me this morning at breakfast. He’s said it before, but he usually finishes it with “you’d have been put down already.” I guess now it’s just understood. He says this to me whenever I go off on a “poor me” me rant, which I did this morning.

I try not to dwell on my schlemieliness because it can be daunting, but being laid up post surgery, coupled with a new (or maybe not so new but definitely intensified, perhaps from the surgery…???) issue led to me waking up with a not so shiny view of life this morning.

I was supposed to fill out a bunch of paperwork required by the Navy today, but I couldn’t remember my own SS# or zip code and it occurred to me that maybe I just needed a little distraction. So, I’m listening to “Too Close” by Alex Clare on repeat and looking through pictures we’ve taken in the last year.

The last time The Commander had to work in Hawaii we decided to try some local wines. Macadamia nut and honey wine seemed like a good idea, but we were sadly mistaken. And the only good thing about this coconut wine was the bottle it came in. It tasted exactly how you’d expect nail polish remover to taste.

This is a Florida Fighting Conch that I came across while in Sanibel Island. I accidentally kicked one in the ocean and got a bloody toe for it. I picked up the shell and one of his crazy creepy eyes came peeking out at me. We looked at each other for a long minute before his claw foot came slashing out at me, making me shriek and drop him.

Luckily, I this guy was long dead when I came across him. I didn’t really want to touch him, but I wanted the shell. So I went ahead and yanked him out of it. It was gross.

Vaughan was shy around me at first. But then we bonded by shouting nonsensical words at each other and running around with our arms in the air like a couple of wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men.

Then Vaughaner upped the ante by adding a peek-a-boo move between his legs with his little tush in the air while shouting “BOO-BOO EESI!!” which roughly translates as “Boobity-Boo, Leesi!” Our friendship was sealed and the cuteness nearly did me in.

Here’s a totally b.a. propellor plan that The Commander made for ‘The Little Beasts.’

Complete with a handle on the bottom for optimal flying capability, it was way more impressive than the binoculars that I made.

I found this cicada on my kitchen window.

Its discovery was followed by a very vivid dream in which it camouflaged itself as a flower and then ate a frog.

I still can’t remember my SS#, but I do feel a little better.

I think it’s time for a little sunshine therapy.

Until next time…

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